and i feel as if i have seen neither in century's.. when i am enjoying myself, and my friends that are still alive are around it is great, but than when i am alone for a wile or i feel unwanted.. it just feels like thousands of years.. almost like i am some kind of emortal.. yet i only feel the horrible parts of it.. i wonce new a boy that went to school with me.. he used to believe he was emortal.. i didn't believe him ovecorse.. but now meby i get around to thinking that he had felt just like this.. don't know what ever became of him.. i never forget the ones who have ben nice to me but.. i get so shy, i dont know why, i think it was because i was hurt too badly long long agoh and now i am scard for ever because of it...
now that this pece of myself is missing i feel like i will just be alone forever.. like i just cant get along with "normal" humans enymore.. like something has ben cut off and now i understand wild animals more thain pepole.. infact, i injoy the company of wild animals to that of pepole, i just feel like i know egzactily how they feel and humans just hurt me eaven if they dont mean too...
a month or two ago i was at a groshry store and there were some nuns or amish whimin there and for some reason i just cant forget about how they all looked at me, it deeply angerd me, but than at the same time it made me feel powerfull.. i ushily ware black baggy pants with mettle studs and spikes and chains, i have a plastic silver charm with a black fox engraved in it hanging from my side, two necklaces on me at all times, an anik and a fox, i ushily have an earthy color shirt with wolves or something of that sort on it, and i have long dark brown hair with dark green streaks in it.. despite all this i actually don't look very mean, my face is smooth, im relatively skinny and i try to never look angry.. but still most humans just stay away from me because i look different but i dont care, all these things that i wear symbolize myself and the things i love and believe in, i will die wearing this relenga, it is what i am, and if these fucking soulless tools look down upon me Thain a curse to them for being to ignorant to act nice to me, a curse on these dam humans for hurting me so badly because of something like clothing, a curse on them, and a curse on all there houses for granting me such a lonely fate...